Fuck Being Famous

I don’t understand it, why would anyone want to be famous? I can’t think of anything worse than being an A-Lister. I’m a private person, so the idea of having people who like my work come up to me and invade my privacy and take a picture kinda bugs the shit out of me. Imagine you’re Jay-Z: you work 120 hours a week, you’re constantly busy, and the few hours a week that you get to just relax and hang out with your beautiful family, some asshole is going to come up and tell you how dope Reasonable Doubt was and ask for a picture. No, thank you. Fuck off.

On the other hand, maybe it evens out. Being that visible probably makes you a goldmine for advertising, your personal brand can make you more money than almost any other venture. Additionally, people want to suffocate you with praise and gifts, you’re allowed into places other people could only dream of, and you can even get away with murder. (Shouts out to OJ) In addition to all of those perks, you get to use your co-sign to elevate the people you care about. So it can’t all be bad, or else no one would want to be famous.

Overall, I don’t think I’m equipped to be famous, I’m kind of an asshole, if you can’t tell, I wouldn’t want to be drunk one night and be a dick to someone, only to find a video of it up on TMZ for God and my mother to see. I don’t think we let celebrities fail enough. They’re people too, kinda. If Tom Cruise is having a bad day because someone broke into his house and asked him to sign their Top Gun DVDs, I couldn’t judge him for freaking out and backhanding a pedestrian. The amount of therapy and drug abuse needed to maintain that lifestyle isn’t attractive to me. What’s all the money and access in the world worth if you can’t enjoy it?

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Evanzavis

I'm a 26 year-old Gemini who likes long walks at night, clever copy, and relaxing on the golf course with some good beers.

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